Have you ever wondered if you’re in a relationship that won’t last? Or do you find yourself thinking: He can change, this is love, it’s only been three months or six months or a year, and this is just a phase? How can you know if this is a relationship that will last or, more importantly, should last? Sadly, most people overlook the red flags in a partnership until it’s too late.
Here are some of the most common red flags in relationships to be aware of:
1. They don’t spend a lot of time with you
In the early stages of the relationship, it is fun to spend time with your partner. In this stage, you expect to spend a lot of time getting to know one another and bonding over shared interests.
But if you start to feel like your relationship isn’t high on your partner’s priority list, it’s time to think about why this is. If your date is only calling you when it’s convenient for them or often cancels plans at the last minute, then there’s a high chance they don’t feel the same way about the relationship as you do.
2. They often get jealous
It can be tricky to tell whether the jealousy in your relationship is normal or a warning sign of something bigger.
On the one hand, it feels good when someone wants you entirely for themselves. It can also be flattering when your partner gets possessive because it shows that they care about you and are afraid of losing you. But on the other hand, jealous behavior can quickly become controlling and abusive if left unchecked.
3. They try to make you feel guilty
When someone makes a mistake, it’s important not to belittle them or make them feel bad about what happened. When a person constantly tries to make others feel guilty for even the smallest misstep, it’s unhealthy and unacceptable behavior that should never be tolerated. This type of abuse makes you feel like you are the problem in the relationship and that everything wrong in the relationship is your fault.
4. You feel they don’t respect you
Mutual respect is essential in any relationship — without it, things can go downhill quickly. If you feel like your partner doesn’t respect you or treat you with dignity and trust, this is another serious red flag.
5. They often criticize you
Criticism is a major red flag because it indicates a fundamental lack of respect for your partner as a person. Criticism often goes hand-in-hand with contempt, which is one of the most corrosive factors in relationships. It can also lead to defensiveness and stonewalling, which can make it difficult for people to listen to each other — and ultimately lead them to stop talking altogether.
High-conflict couples tend to be mired in negative thoughts about their partner and relationship. This negativity can create a cycle where partners begin focusing on each other’s flaws rather than their positive qualities and strengths.
6. They isolate you from others
An insecure person will often try to isolate their partner from their friends, family, and other people they know. They don’t want anyone else to have an influence over their partner. They might do this by making plans that don’t include other people, such as family and friends or they might get upset whenever you make plans to spend time with anyone else besides them. If you feel like your partner is forcing you to spend less time with your loved ones, it’s a matter of concern.
7. They constantly need affirmation and attention
If your partner has become needy or clingy in a way that makes you uncomfortable, this is another signal that something is wrong. If they want your constant attention and approval or if they get upset when you spend time away from them, this is another hint that can’t be ignored.
Both partners need to maintain their independence to keep the relationship healthy and happy. If one person becomes overly dependent on the other, it creates an imbalance that can lead to resentment.
8. They lie to you often
It’s normal for couples to keep some things private — like your salary or what you did on your last girls’ night out — but if you find that your partner makes up stories or lies frequently, it could be a sign of insecurity.
Repeated lies can shake the foundation of a relationship, leading to its destruction and making it difficult for both partners to trust one another.
In a good relationship, things should be relatively drama-free. If you are frequently worried about your partner or relationship, something is probably wrong. Many individuals find Gottman Couples Workshops in North Chicagoland and other cities in the US very effective in dealing with these signs and help you to make your relationship stronger.
